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This is a place where I share my thoughts and experiences in the form of spoken word. I've been inspired to be an inspiration. Living and learning everyday and finding a way to share it with you!

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Life of Solitude

As my mind roams with incomplete thoughts
They all surround the image of her
And as I sit alone day after day and night after night
MY SIGHT...becomes more clear
I start to realize what's happening with me here
It's hard to believe
Why am I always in this mood?
Came to the realization that I LIVE A LIFE OF SOLITUDE!!
"The state or quality of being alone or remote from others"
Hmm let's see, I use to live in a studio apt where my bed comes down from the wall
I let the bed up, slide the couch over, my bedroom and living room are all
IN THE SAME PLACE!
I log onto the net to see the daily STATUSES and UPDATES
But I can't GET-UP-TO-DATE
Because that's not where my heart is
It's hard to start this
Because I beleived that I'm the reason we PAR-TED
And everyday I live to REGRET IT
AND HER ACTIONS NEVER LET ME FORGET IT
AND HER ACTIONS NEVER LET ME FORGET IT
AND HER EVERYDAY ACTIONS NEVER LET ME FORGET IT
Because she want me to understand the pain
that I caused that made it hard for ME to explain
WHY?
Now I'm left in this mood
Yeah this mood that leads me to a life of SOLITUDE
Where my mind tends to take on its own little journey
And it leaves me puzzled in a search to learn me
Just to see
If I am who I PORTRAY MYSELF TO BE
Those moments of solitude made it clear to that love is not a CLEAN GAME
It has even had me from week to week changing her SCREEN NAME...in my phone
To names like
SHE DON'T LOVE ME, SHE DON'T WANT ME, SHE AIN'T THINKING OF ME TO SPECIAL KIND OF LADY AND JUST MAYBE
WHAT
Have I Become?
Doing just about anything to try and run
FROM IT
Went from abusing alcohol to suicidal dreams as I watch my life PLUMMET
I tried just about everything, didn't know where else to look
Til I heard a small voice in my head say unto me "Son just pick up my book"
And I listened although I was hesitant at first
And I flip through the pages I came across this verse
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding"
And as I pause for a second
My mind was cleared in the blink of an eye right before my life was disrespected
BY ME
Made me reflect on all of the troublesome times in my life, and the wasted time that was spent
It also made me think about being on the beach, walking with the Lord looking back and seeing only one set of footprints
Which lets me know HE carried ME when I couldn't SEE the PLANS HE had in store for ME

7 comments:

  1. BRAVO! This was so (for a lack of better words) - DOPE!!! :) Love it!

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  2. just thought i would come by and hope to be surprised with a new post. dang!

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  3. Im lost for words. Excellent!!!

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  4. Thank you for your site, it was a welcome touch in my day. You are not alone.

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  5. Heartfelt. Truly is sincere. Love isn't always enough to keep two people together. That's what is crazy. The last line is perfect line. "Kind of makes you think about the beach and seeing only one set of footprints." I'm thinking of how they can be washed away but at the same time one set of footprints is in your poem a sign of loneliness.

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  6. Wow! I really felt that. The whole twist at the end was AMAZING. I was hooked after the two lines.

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  7. I FELT this poem, we can all relate...

    "Is it not by the remembrance of God that hearts are stilled?"

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