Nothing

There I was observing like everyone else
Watching all the wrong things occur
Knowing I should be doing something to help the situation
But instead of stepping up I stepped back with deviation
Letting outside influences make me
Letting outside influences take me
To the bottom of the pit
I'm doing bad things that my conscience won't let me forget
Knowing I should be in the presence of the Lord
But I've been doing it so long to walk away seems too dang on hard
Seeing enemies in my sleep
Waking up in cold sweats
Wondering do I really need help
Even having thoughts of pulling the trigger on myself
THIS AIN'T RIGHT
What have I become?
NOTHING!!!